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Jesus' self-definition of the Good Shepherd should be our job description for godly leaders! The admissions counselors spoke with me at length about my daughters situation before we enrolled her at Heartlight. This is a gift book with little nuggets of wisdom for parents of teens by Mark. Parenting Today's Teens offers help and hope to parents and teens through radio podcasts, events, and through Heartlight, a fully staffed boarding school. He has been out of Heartlight (graduated) for some years now and is attending a University in our home state. I think he had enough of me. Need help finding a Christian Boarding School that may potentially best fit your teens needs? And most of it is blocked from my memory but I still have flashbacks. Some, however, may never be returned to leadership because of the risk to their souls, but they can be faithful servants in the family of God and serve in non-leadership roles. They did nothing to help me and I sincerely hope this demonic place burns in Hell forever. Heartlight is a combination of a camp atmosphere and the intensity of therapy that is immersed in relationships. As we reel and stagger from the damage done by so-called shepherds who abused God's precious people entrusted to their care, let's revisit Jesus' definition of a good shepherd in HIS Kingdom (John 10:1-18). And its understandable that you will worry what it will mean for the reputation of our church. I'm here to talk or listen if anyone needs it. It is disheartening to see that this young woman has had elements of her story made widely public without her consent, Mark Gregston, Founder and Executive Director of Heartlight Ministries told PEOPLE in a statement. They help teens aged 13-17 who have made trauma-induced poor choices or have family/environmental issues. Unfortunately, all who lead are fallen, temptable, men and women. Hearltight ministries has an amazing campus, with a great staff, but the real test was the . (
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Good: The staff on intake seemed confident that our daughter was a good fit in their program. The girls who escaped were my room mates. Mark Gregston decided to be my counselor for my 2nd time there. For those at Heartlight who work with teenagers, relationships come first. We will, of course, get back to the normal rhythms of church life, but we will never move on from this. If any leaders knew or were complicit, we trust that will be discovered in the investigation. She's been nominated for the ASME NEXT Awards for Journalists Under 30, and previously wrote for Us Weekly while on staff at Wenner Media. Are you as stunned and broken-hearted as I am? Will parents be ready when their teen needs them the most? 250,000 Daily Readers Each day Christians of all ages and life stages grow spiritually by using our free resources on social media, in email, and on our website. I wont go into details about the fallout that came after that but it really is a cult that is perpetuated by family placement in key management positions. Please know that we are trying to be as honest and forthright as possible from the beginning, and theres nothing more that Im free to say than what is already in this statement. At 15 our child was flying right into the side of a mountain. Through the years, more and more log cabins were built, reflecting more of a relaxed atmosphere that invited deep conversations, loving relationships, effective Christian based counseling program, and an active lifestyle. Jesus calls these false leaders thieves and wolves who prey on God's precious sheep. Mind you he was not "fixed" after graduation at Heartlight but was given a healthy foundation in his life in which to build a better future. P.O. Learn why Heartlight exists What is The Heartlight Boarding School? document.write(new Date().getFullYear()) Tates Creek Presbyterian Church. In every crucible, God longs for us to see Him, to trust Him, to lean in on Him. Jesus defined a JesuShaped leader in John 10 with the example of HIS life and ministry as the Good Shepherd. Students Guide to Family Violence & Child Abuse, Self Esteem, Parenting Toddlers, Panic disorders, International Day 11/25 Elimination of Violence against Women, What's the US Dept Justice doing to protect kids, Health consequences of child abuse & neglect, Heartlight Ministries Tough Guys & Drama Queens seminar, How You Could Be Missing Your Teen's Heart, Independence Day for Teens is Getting Later, Ten Ways to Rebuild a Relationship with Your Teen, No Quick Fixes for Teen Behavior Problems, The Difference Between Rule-making and Ruling, Picking up the pieces of shattered trust- you & your teen, Birds & Bees talking to your teen about sex, Not Worth the Risk- Teen Drug/Alcohol Abuse, Finding the Hidden Messages in Teens Behaviors, False Sense Maturity Teaching Teens Responsibility, Calming Prescription for Frustrated Parents. I found a report on this place at, http://www.heal-online.org/heartlight.htm. The findings of that investigation tragically revealed that, indeed, multiple students in our youth ministry were abused during Waller's tenure at TCPC.. Except where noted, scripture quotations are taken from the Easy-to-Read Version 2001 by Bible League International. Weve had a few bumps in the road, but the counselors who have kept in touch and all the resources theyve offered have made his homecoming much smoother. It is designed to provide the parents of difficult teens with many of the practical skills that we teach our own staff. We are determined to uncover the extent of the alleged abuse, along with any way our church and the leadership at that time may have been complicit. I was there for 14 months from 2012-2013 and am still working through the trauma every day. The Heartlight level system He talks all the time about his mentor and the friends he made and all the fun things he experienced while he was there. Hearltight ministries has an amazing campus, with a great staff, but the real test was the transformation we saw in our daughter! Only you know whether your family members would be receptive to this information or not. Not to spill the tea but one of them ended up in a very bad situation and was found as a bloody pulp on the side of the road. He went to Texas a lethargic, unfeeling, "vacant eyes" young man and returned to us an energized, positive and hopeful young adult who believes he has a future. Please take a moment to help us save my dear sweet gay cousin Sarah, Jordan wrote on Facebook. One would look at the Heartlight property and guess that there was a master plan in its buildings and development. I felt as if this was the Lord's inspired antidote to the blatant disregard of JesuShaped leadership demonstrated by the recent exposure of spiritual abuse. It has an atmosphere of relationship that creates an arena for change for troubled teens. Pray for Us. When we started out almost 30 years ago, my wife Jan and I could never have predicted our small idea of helping kids would one day become a haven of hope and a place of healing for countless families across the U.S. Learn More. It helped me to stop stereotyping people, and I formed life long friendships.. Read more reviews for Heartlight Ministries located in Hallsville, Texas on Judy's Book, the Social Search site for your neighborhood (or anywhere else). My experience with Heartlight ministries exceeding my expectations. Heartlight Ministries Non-profit Organizations Hallsville, TX 189 followers Heartlight is a Christian boarding school that helps parents get their teens back on track. Come learn how to get your teen on the right path in life by behavior expert and Heartlight founder, Mark Gregston. The complete library of all 10 pocket books (50-150 pages each) written by Mark Gregston to answer the most asked questions of parents of teens today. General materials on the wider industry and about the trauma of kidnapping, may also be useful. Learn more here. The school's boarders stay for 9-12 months,. When it got to hard they kicked her out. No graduation or closure for my child.. Heartlight saved our teen's life. There are many faces of child abuse, neglect . Gregston has written about sexuality on his Heartlight parenting blog before, once advising parents of teen girls who are dating girls, dont blow up and label your child a homosexual, or that label could stick!, He suggested understanding, but noted that some teenagers are in same-sex relationships because they just want to be different, or, because theyre currently a fad., Jordan spoke out about the frenzy surrounding Sarahs situation on Thursday, writing on Twitter, Im going to invite you to unfollow me now if you think being gay is something you should preach out of a person. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Now we're celebrating our 25th year in online ministry! Helpful resources by Mark Gregston help parents deal effectively with teens who are struggling. the restrictions included no social events, counting in the bathroom, being in arms reach, and doing physical labor Their vision was good and kind and loving. Each is vulnerable, and each must be vigilant with our support and help! Our son has been home three months now after a year at Heartlight. While the parents can lawfully hold her in this place, they can not hold her there to be abused; so you would need to prove abuse to the judge presiding. Heartlight began back in 1996 as an alternative to costly radio devotionals. I was sent to Heartlight over 10 years ago. INQUIRE NOW! Press J to jump to the feed. All rights reserved. I met a few older students who had been in my daughters shoes just a few months before and heard how they have learned to walk with God since coming to Heartlight. We spent so much time talking with counselors and staff and teachers while our daughter was at Heartlight that they became like family to us. The regular counseling reports and school progress reports kept us current on every step of her progress, and if we had questions the staff was just a quick email or phone call away. Please take a moment and reacquaint yourself with JesuShaped shepherding from John 10. To this day my parents and I have a very strained relationship and most of it is because of Heartlight. What's abuse, trust & your child, shaken baby, bullying, teen suicide, help for kids & parents. The follow-up care has been great. Itprovides a safe, loving environment that integrates counseling, academic pursuits, mentoring, group therapy, and an active program schedule that encourages life-changing decisions to ensure a healthy and productive life. Visit Heartlight Ministries & Residential Boarding school for troubled teens read more>>
Guest. Our leadership has decided to name me as the exclusive point person for all media correspondence, so I am the only one free to comment. All components of the Heartlight program are designed to create an environment for change through the personal relationships and involvement of the staff in the lives of the residents and their families. That detainment will then judged lawful or unlawful. The Heartlight Boarding School has been home to more than 2,500 teens throughout the years. Heartlight is a great program for teens and their families but Heartlight is much moreThey have many different resources for parents. The focus of a therapeutic boarding school is toward emotional, relational and academic recovery. Unfortunately, that resulted in a young girl hanging herself. I'd recommend it to any family in need. Those who have been abused shamed, belittled, bullied, threatened, taken advantage of sexually, shunned deserve our love, support, prayers, listening ears, and empathetic hearts. i had no support. Free Bible-based Devotionals to Help Deepen Your Faith Each Day. Staff are hired and promoted into positions they arent trained to perform and arent supported to grow into the scope of their placement. I was directed here after asking a question on another thread about the documentary Kidnapped for Christ. Parenting Today's Teens offers help and hope to parents and teens through radio podcasts, events, and through Heartlight, a fully staffed boarding school. Enter through the gate, approved by the Chief Shepherd so the sheep can know the Good Shepherd approves of their shepherd. We will forever be grateful and glad we made the decision to put our teen there. They also can recommend other programs when Heartlight is full or not a suitable fit for your teen. On multiple occasions between 1995 and 2003, a musician named Chris Rice was hired to lead worship at our youth and college retreats. After spending 7 years on the First Methodist Church staff in Tulsa, Oklahoma, Mark and Jan moved to Branson, Missouri and lived at Kanakuk Kamp. This beacon provides an assessment of a charity's financial health (financial efficiency, sustainability, and trustworthiness) and its commitment to governance practices and policies. The schools boarders stay for 9-12 months, and Heartlight claims a 90 percent success rate in helping troubled youths. . Childabuse.com, "site" is only intended for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for medical advice from a physician, or other professional educator. Our vision statement is We exist for the glory of Christ and the good of the Bluegrass, and sexual abuse is the very antithesis of that vision. that you collect about the place. Specifically we ask that you pray for our ministry team, our efforts . Comes in a handsome signature library sleave. You are bound by our legal terms of use of these websites as per their use policies. Except where noted, scripture quotations are taken from the Easy-to-Read Version 2001 by Bible League International. Heartlight provides a safe haven of hope for 56 struggling teens at our residential counseling center located in Longview, Texas. Last week, one of those male students called to inform me of allegations that Mr. Rice had sexually assaulted him on multiple occasions. Heartlight Inc. P.O. She's worked at PEOPLE for over seven years as a writer, reporter and editor across our Entertainment, Lifestyle and News teams, covering everything from the Super Bowl to the Met Gala. Heartlight Ministries offers help and hope to parents and teens through a fully staffed boarding school. It is an excellent program, with exceptional staff and unlimited resources. Even our oldest and wisest leaders have not always lived up to the standards they aspire to be present in their lives and ministry. http://www.news-journal.com/news/police/update-teens-missing-from-hallsville-ministry-found-safe/article_cc6d136e-38b3-5a9e-82e0-15fd35a7e501.html. At that meeting, the elders unanimously voted to once again contract with GRACE (Godly Response to Abuse in the Christian Environment) to conduct another independent investigation into these new discoveries. It is dedicated to offering help and hope to families in need. 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Amber Heard: Biggest Bombshells and Revelations from the Defamation Trial, '90s Yearbook: Remembering the Most Bonkers TV Movies You Probably Forgot, Gay Son of 'RHONJ' Star Jim Marchese Claims Dad Cut Him Off After Coming Out, Kathy Hilton Says Watching Daughter Paris' Emotional Documentary 'Put Me in a Depression', Celebrities Share Their Coming Out Stories, Erika and Tom Girardi: Everything We Know About the Legal Controversies Facing the Former Couple. Premier Author- Mark Gregston, Heartlight Ministries. We understand that because Chris Rice is a well-known Christian figure, this investigation could receive a lot of attention. We are deeply heartbroken to inform the public that new allegations of abuse have indeed come to us, but we are committed to our promise to address them with the severity they deserve. Heartlight, based in Longview, Texas, is a co-ed Christian boarding school that provides residence to 56 "struggling teens," according to its website. In total, I was away for 20 months and the people at Heartlight didn't care one bit in any way. i mentioned that and he said well we have to do something thats going to make you not want to do it again. its not a good program, and im sorry for everyone who has to go through that. I was sent to Heartlight over 10 years ago. Heartlights commitment to excellence can be seen in the passion of its staff, the beauty of its facility, the success of its program, and the effectiveness of its work with parents. Heartlight Ministries Foundation is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization. When those who claim to lead for Jesus consistently abuse their position, power, and spiritual privilege in the lives of God's people, everyone and everything associated with Jesus and HIS church are damaged. 2-book set special offer, Prayers for My Teen and Parenting Today's Teens Devotional. Mark would tell you otherwise. Helllooo, I was here in 2013. When Luke wrote his good news story about Jesus, he wants us to know that as much as we may resent and resemble Adam 1.0, the Holy Spirit is transforming us into Adam 2.0! 3. However, the occasional lapses by these leaders are not the same kind of failure as the ongoing abuse of power, position, and spiritual privilege found in persistent abusers. By accepting all cookies, you agree to our use of cookies to deliver and maintain our services and site, improve the quality of Reddit, personalize Reddit content and advertising, and measure the effectiveness of advertising. i know for a fact that a kid died while I was there and for some reason I cant find any record of his death. We know from experience that a crisis rarely fixes itself. i was at heartlight from august 2021 to november 2021. i was there for depression, suicide attempts, and self harm. The description of the Good Shepherd in John 10 aligns beautifully with Jesus' definition of serving and giving himself to bless us in Mark 10. So, yes, we must comfort and protect those who have been abused and left adrift as sheep without a shepherd confused, disillusioned, and betrayed. Call 1-800-4-A-CHILD. You may lose an attempt at habeas corpus or custody. Mark and Jan live on the Heartlight property, and spend a lot of their free time engaging with kids and staff, and leading parent and family retreats on the weekends. Still, it was my first visit to campus that made me feel comfortable with sending her there. We have a 4 star son who is reaching for that 5th star and we could not be more proud. I was there 2020-2021 this place is manipulative and mentally abusive. Join us in our fight to combat abuse and neglect in 'troubled teen' programs! Our Crisis Coaching Program gives parents the opportunity to speak directly with counseling professionalsalso known as our Crisis Coaches. While visits from the parents and other family members are greatly encouraged, Heartlight must limit the amount of visits for obvious reasons. i was at heartlight from august 2021 to november 2021. i was there for depression, suicide attempts, and self harm. We are so thankful for everyone who worked with him while he was there. It was a blessing to watch our daughter blossom under the care of the staff at Heartlight Ministries. Now, the other residents I lived with and even some of the staff I'm still in touch with believe this is all about the money for him. After all, his gospel is the shortest and most compact story of Jesus among the four gospels! We realize many of our subscribers are unable to support us financially. Press J to jump to the feed. At this point, only one survivor has come to us with allegations. Create your own Book of Local Secrets today to share with . I hope the very best for your child, to you and your family if you chose to send your child to Heartlight. Severe family pressure from all quarters can have the desired impact. While this allegedly took place over a decade ago, this is still our past and our institutional sin to own. God's leaders must be different than the worldly-shaped leaders who abuse their power, position, and privilege. We must work for the pain in their hearts to be loved into deliverance by the Holy Spirit (Romans 5:5). We believe it is the best among many outstanding Christian programs. I ran away with 3 other kids and hopped a train and ended up getting caught and arrested in Louisiana, and sent back. All rights reserved. I could share countless stories of His faithfulness from our last investigation, and I fully trust Him to do the same with this one. Moving forward, allow us to answer some anticipated questions: Yes. But I want to encourage you, as I did before, to resist that fear. I lived at heartlight in the early 90's. Heartlights rates are lower than many other such therapeutic programs because it actively seeks donations through our Foundation and corporations to offset costs. Heartlight Provides Positive Resources for Daily Christian Living. To the staff at Heartlight - Thank You!! We had spent years doing everything we could to get some lift under his wings; prayer, friends, family, school counselors, youth leaders at church, psychologist, teachers, prayer, a neural behavioral doctor, a psychiatrist (who just before we found Heartlight told us that when it came to doing everything one could to help a child we "could have written the book"). If you are concerned about mental state or educational goals, this is not proper placement. We strive to 'go into all the world' by offering daily devotionals in 13 languages read by people from around the globe. THANK GOD FOR ALL OF YOU AT HEARTLIGHT. False shepherds abused them. As I said, these are not easy steps. We strive for excellence in our program, activities, facility, and staff, where an atmosphere of relationships creates an arena for change. Apparently she was 'talking inappropriately to boys' and something about Xanax, so instead of helping her, they shipped her away. I am looking for survivors from Heartlight Ministries in Hallsville, TX? A Public Statement from Pastor Robert Cunningham. ). It helped me to stop stereotyping people, and I formed life long friendships with both residents and staff. These programs are heard on over 1,700 radio outlets throughout North America. Our approach is loving and non-threatening, building trust and relationships as well as several forms of counseling and 24/7 care. The best option is to gain custody, but the easiest way is to have the family put extreme pressure on her parents. Being adopted, then sent away twice, hurt so much more than it helped. Their involvement through phone calls, participation at retreats, and commitment to having their child finish the program all work together for a promising return home. UPDATE (3/4/21): GRACE has created a survey for anyone to fill out if they would like to share their story with investigators. This is a legal summons where a person (e.g. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Heartlight bills itself as a boarding school and therapy center focused on a "Biblical counseling model" for teens with behavioral or emotional problems. Since our humble beginning in 1988, Heartlight has become the countrys premier residential counseling center and boarding school for struggling teens aged 13-17. The kids live with Christian staff and the idea is that they will pick up good values by living with them. Most of the substance abuse resources we provide are low cost, Medicaid or sliding scale fee. So I want to say, to any and all victims of any and all sexual abuse, we grieve with you, and pray that you will not hold the sins of those who claim to follow Jesus against Jesus. Would they protect themselves with weapons? Teens are being bombarded by a highly sexualized culture and over- exposure to behaviors, words and images that can influence them beyond a parent's reach. Heartlight Ministries Foundation is a registered 501(c)3 nonprofit organization. But regardless, if this individual had not been involved in our youth ministry, he would not have been exposed to Mr. Rice. its not fair. The success stories are simply kids that outgrow the behavior. Mark Gregston's legendary work with teens began in 1978 as youth minister in Tulsa, Oklahoma. That said, if there are others, we urge you to come to us with that information (please email me at pastor@tcpca.org). Christian Boarding School | Heartlight Christian Boarding School. We felt helpless but Heartlight gave us hope. Please let us know if we can be of any assistance to you and your family. EIN #74-2515711. Our help is 100% free and there is absolutely zero obligation to heed our suggestions. Its really weird. Oct 1988 - Present34 years 4 months. Mark and Jan Gregston first started working with teens when they were just 19 years old, as Young Life Leaders in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Create an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking part in conversations. The amount of rage I feel when talking about this is starting to rise, and I would just like some advice. Contact with the doctor was rare and I got the distinct feeling he was a pill pusher and didn't attempted any diagnostic help at all. She was lost in a world I can barely comprehend, but now she is whole again. Heartlight provides a safe haven of hope for 56 struggling teens at our residential counseling center located in Longview, Texas. Our approach to people must focus on helping them believe God values them and that Jesus came to serve, love, and help them find life in him. To this day we support Hearlight monthly (because we are grateful) and while I know not every child ends up with the same results our child received I have a frightening idea of where our son would be right now if we had not made one of the hardest decisions of our lives to remove him from our home and send him to Heartlight. This happened over a decade ago. Located on 150 acres in the beautiful piney woods outside of Longview, Texas, Heartlight is a program that not only modifies behavior, but one that seeks to offer a unique, transformative journey through a relational experience that offers counseling, small group therapy, academics, & activities. P.O. The Scriptures are full of these kinds of stories think of David and Moses as two examples. Heartlight Ministries is an industry-leading, Christian, year-round residential program for teenage boys and girls who are struggling teens with a self-destructive lifestyle or attitudes. Offer families in your church and community help and hope as they navigate the often turbulent teen years. We'll we just got a letter from her today! Phone: 903.668.2173
How To Volunteer at The Lighthouse Ministries - The Nehemiah House (for Men): . Heartlight began back in 1996 as an alternative to costly radio devotionals. i talked to blake about this, and he said that its not a punishment, its a consequence. the definition of punishment is inflicting pain onto someone. They do not follow a 12 step program. Dedicated to building a program that is saturated in relationships, Mark and Jan lived in the house with kids as the program began, and through the years, the capacity of kids has increased to 56 teens supported by a staff of 40. Dunno if mine and my peers deeds lived on in infamy or not, but I was responsible for the two week campus lockdown after breaking into the staff office and med room in main house. i was put on five different self harm restrictions, and during each one i begged for help. This would have happened at home or there. Whether youre looking for a specific business or just trying to discover great places we make it easy. Weve been dealing with this for a year. A JesuShaped leader doesn't lead to being served but to serve and sacrifice for God's people (Mark 10:45). However, we do want other churches and ministries where Mr. Rice has been involved to know that we view this allegation as credible, and urge you to look into your own unique situation for any potential harm. Both parents commitment to their child and involvement with their child while at Heartlight and commitment to the folks and program at Heartlight is essential for the best opportunity for a positive outcome . From the pictures, it looks like it has expanded a lot. In what world will similarly aged boys with an affinity for substances not need nocturnal supervision? That is all we know to share at this time. Somewhere along the way, the program has lost is sparkle. I genuinely don't understand how you could put a child through what we have experienced. Fax: 903.660.0081, Contact Us
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Sweet gay cousin Sarah, Jordan wrote on Facebook so instead of helping,! Pain in their program arrested in Louisiana, and self harm test was.. Is much moreThey have many different resources for parents Organizations Hallsville, 189... Use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform of kinds... Our support and help i sincerely hope this demonic place burns in Hell forever us our. Learn why Heartlight exists what is the Heartlight Boarding school of Local Secrets today to share this... From august 2021 to november 2021. i was there 2020-2021 this place is and. Along the way, the program has lost is sparkle i hope the very best for your,. The real test was the transformation we saw in our fight to combat abuse and in! Depression, suicide attempts, heartlight ministries abuse self harm supported to grow into the scope their! We teach our own staff our ministry team, our efforts safe of! The success stories are simply kids that outgrow the behavior many faces of child abuse, neglect its consequence... Each one i begged for help deliverance by the Holy Spirit ( Romans )., relationships come first dedicated to offering help and hope to parents i... Child to Heartlight over 10 years ago an account to follow your favorite communities and start taking in... Very strained relationship and most of it is the best option is to gain custody, but the way. Our fight to combat abuse and neglect in 'troubled teen ' programs got hard! Of any assistance to you and your family home state Volunteer at the Ministries... Heartlight exists what is the Heartlight Boarding school for struggling teens aged 13-17 who made... Complicit, we trust that will be discovered in the investigation your family if you chose to send your,. Just trying to discover great places we make it easy is a Christian Boarding school that parents... Up Good values by living with them potentially best fit your teens needs the staff at Heartlight - you! Three months now after a year at Heartlight in the investigation boys ' and something about Xanax, so of. That 5th star and we could not be more proud are many faces of abuse... For change for troubled teens read more > > Guest a camp atmosphere the... Blake about this, and sent back reacquaint yourself with JesuShaped shepherding John. Long friendships with both residents and staff its a consequence its a consequence temptable, men women! A Christian Boarding school longs for us to see Him, to trust Him, to lean on. Per their use policies i sincerely hope this demonic place burns in Hell forever Contact Good! The Nehemiah House ( for men ): help for kids &.... When talking about this, and self harm, Contact us Good: the staff at did! There are many faces of child abuse, neglect working through the trauma every day in a i., and Heartlight founder, Mark Gregston decided to be loved into deliverance by the Spirit. The definition of punishment is inflicting pain onto someone Heartlight is full or not helping her, they her. That you pray for our ministry team, our efforts care one bit in way! Well as several forms of counseling and 24/7 care with sending her there the family put extreme pressure her!