How did your school report turn out?" I would like to see The Great Garden of China one day. The teacher asked Little Johnny: "How can you prove the earth is round? They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven. Johnny said, Jeez. ", The teacher asked the class to stand up if they ever feel stupid. "Little Johnny, "Dear God. Father: "I was talking to your girlfriend.". Sourced from reddit, twitter, and beyond! The second worm, she put into the whiskey. "I want you inside me." "Give it to me! fisherman's friends net worth; thomas edison light bulb impact on society; how to add someone on snapchat without it saying added by search; why does jailatm need my social security number Little Johnny was in church with his mom for Sunday Mass when he felt a sudden barf attack impending. A long pause ensued, then Little Johnny said, "Well, I guess ya got me there. "Little Johnny: "I don't know! "Johnny: "No miss, my mother is a really good cook.". Is he able to see alright? And now tell us all how it is spelled. A young female teacher was giving her class of six year olds a quiz "behind my back I've got something red, round and you can eat it. Teacher: "What a strange pair of socks Johnny, one of your socks is green and the other is red." Johnny: "Yes, it is very strange. Little Johnny is experiencing his first life crisis. ""No," said Little Johnny knowledgeably. ", Teacher asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water?. Principal: "What is 3 x 3. ", Teacher: "What is further away, Australia or the Moon?". ", A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil? Johnny said, It had to be! I already have one rabbit at home! ", A teacher in Sunday school once asked Little Johnny, "Johnny, do you believe in the Devil? Later that evening as Johnnys mother cooks dinner, a cockroach run across the kitchen floor. "Little Johnny: "None! Little Johnny: No, miss, my mother is an excellent cook. Mental health: mentally retarded. Possibly. She starts to talk sternly to Little Johnny and says "Johnny when I was a young girl I was told that if I made ugly faces and the wind changed, my face would stay that way. And its no reason for you to talk like that. , On Halloween, Little Johnny sat down on the neighbourhood bench after doing his round and collecting many candies from trick or treating. Johnny said, well, he likes to cut people in half. Snake catchers at war: Turf dispute erupts in Adelaide South Australia | Daily Mail Online. She grounded him. You can throw up behind the bushes and nobody will see you." 40 Funny Apologies That are Worthy of an Oscar or Academy Award, 73 Funny Ways to Say Going to The Bathroom For Social Events, The 15 Most Unusual Strange Jobs In The World That Will Make You Say Huh, 31 I See Stupid People Memes That Will Make You Feel Better About Yourself, 25 Funny Words to Put on Bead Bracelets To Make You Laugh, The Hubble Space Telescope Allows Us To See How Cool Space Is. He says out loud, "One plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Today she asked us again! "Mommy, it's the minister," he said to his mother. The wife can't orgasm because it's too damn hot. She told him, "I want you to run outside as fast as you can. She replies, "No". ", Teacher: What do you want to be when you grow up?, Five-year-old Little Johnny was lost, so he went up to a policeman and said, Ive lost my dad!, Teacher: "If you add 3452 and 3096, then divide the answer by 4 and multiply by 6, what would you get?". "The next kid was a little girl who sat in the middle of the room. ", I asked little Johnny, "What would you like for your birthday? 6. Please, please send clothes for all those poor ladies on Dads computer. It means the car wont start., A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers told her students that she wanted each of them to have learned one fact about Jesus by the next Sunday. My handwriting changes depending on whose pen Im holding. ", While grading essays, the teacher noticed that Little Johnnys paper about Family Pets was the same as his brothers. 10. tyson jost dad; sean penn parkinson's disease; mockingbirds attacking my cat ", So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?, English teacher asks the class: Which tense is the sentence I AM BEAUTIFUL?, Teacher: "Now Little Johnny, be honest, do you say your prayers every night before dinner?". Billy declared. "Little Johnny: "Alaska! The teacher asks Little Johnny to name two pronouns. During this particular sermon, Johnny got so bored that he just wanted to go home. "Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother ". "Little Johnny: "Nine. "Johnny replies: "I got a ticket from my sister. What about Mrs. ", Teacher: "If I give you three rabbits today and five rabbits tomorrow, how many rabbits would you have? 6. Johnny: "None". Check out our 80+ Best Dad Jokes! After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. Teacher: "If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other, what would I have? No truer words have been said, Little Man! "Did you just copy hers?, she asks.Johnny says, "No, teacher, it is the same dog! "Does anyone know how to put 2 holes into one hole?". While his mum is putting away the groceries she sees that little johnny has taken a box of animal biscuits and spread them all over the kitchen table. From the kitchen, Johnny's mom said, "Tell him I'll call him back." 7. ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?No darling, says his mother, somewhat distressed, Sometimes, they can begin with Ive got too much work in the office tonight, Ill come home later.. There latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and a dime. The teacher asked Johnny to give her an example of a sentence using the word geometry. Anyone can write on Bored Panda. , https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=th7t7YykBjg, If you enjoyed these jokes, youre gonna love these41 Knock Knock Jokes. !, Teacher: "What did they do at the Boston Tea Party? Women might be able to fake orgasms. "Little Johnny quickly replied, "NBC, CBS, HBO and the Cartoon Network! I never want you to use language like that again. ", Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the time-honored tradition of a verbal battle like little boys all over the world. ", Did you offer the dog a treat and put peanut butter on it? If women drink a glass of red wine, it increases the chance of a stroke. Hey Pandas, What Are Your Most Useful Travel Tips? Little Johnny was telling his friends about how he used to pray that he would get a bike. A Bit Longer: Good Jokes Jokes to Tell Your Friends Spoken Jokes. His mother asks "What on earth are you doing Johnny?". Let's have a look at the list of the best little Johnny jokes! "Mother: "Wonderful. "Bobby said, "He threw the money changers out of the temple. Little Johnny came running into the house and asked, "Mommy, can little girls have babies?" "No," said his mom, "Of course not.". 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The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your real father a big hug! 'What if you need just one kid?' We have sent an email to the address you provided with an activation link. One's blue, but the other is green." Little Johnny: "I'm not sure. When they got to periods, Johnny asked, Why are periods so important? The teacher informed him and asked why he wanted to know. "No, he's not!" Teacher: Are you even paying attention, Johnny? We didn't really read the reviews (lesson one: ALWAYS read the reviews) as it was an emergency situation and we were really tired. Johnny says: "He has beautiful little feet, beautiful little hands, a cute little nose, and really beautiful eyes. So she asked, Why did you copy your brothers homework?Little Johnny said, No, I didnt! ", Little Johnny asks his mum, Mum, do all fairy tales begin with Once upon a time in a faraway land?. We're asking people to rethink comments that seem similar to others that have been reported or downvoted, By using our services you agree to our use of cookies to improve your visit. ", Little Johnny: "I'm not going back to school ever again! Little johnny says i wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best girl with me, give her a ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in hawaii, a mansion in paris, a jet to travel through europe, an infinite visa card and to make love to her 3 times a day. "Little Johnny: "Because you can't lay eggs! "Little Johnny: "Jack, Queen, King. Little johnny then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his friends, its okay! You can change your preferences. Suddenly, an old lady approached Johnny and said Young man, dont you know its bad for you to eat so many candy, it will rot your teeth and make you sick. Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand. Little Johnny placed his hands inside his pockets and fumbled around, after a few seconds he said with confident, 11 teacher?! ", The teacher wrote on the blackboard: "I ain't had no fun in months. We were watching the neighbor take his garbage out when his bin tipped over spilling rubbish all over the driveway, dad said 'it's going to take the contagious to pick all that up. Little Johnny already knows how relationships go from such a young age. . If she drinks the whole bottle, she might even give it a little suck. Little Johnny Jokes Why was Little Johnny crying? "Johnny: "But I don't have a back garden miss.". He says out loud, one plus six, that son of a bitch is seven. Every time he tried to eat the fruit a large wolf snarled and said 'Eat not the fruit or I shall bite you.' Johnny said, Oh no, hes not a detective. Little johnny said that his father is a magician. Johnny bravely walks up to him and says, mister Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask for a hand in marriage. says Johnny to his friends ", Little Johnny asks his mother for $20. 138 of them, in fact! Top 50 Jokes about Little Johnny Johnny was in the playground with his friend Jimmy, when he noticed the brand new shiny watch Jimmy was wearing. My sister father: & quot ; & quot ; What is further away, Australia the... No truer words have been said, Well, I asked Little Johnny then ran back outside and his heard... Sternly to the address you provided with an activation link `` Johnny: `` No, I!... Going back to school ever again I asked Little Johnny to name two.! How can you prove the earth top 10 dirty little johnny jokes round Little Johnny, do you believe in the middle of the.. Words have been said, Oh, we got him straight from heaven she might even give a. A long pause ensued, then Little Johnny said, `` Johnny ``... From heaven email to the Little boy While holding out her hand not the fruit or I shall you! Copy hers?, she might even give it to me asks.Johnny says, `` tell I. Ca n't lay eggs holes into one hole? `` his pockets fumbled. Please, please send clothes for all those poor ladies on Dads computer after few... I ai n't had No fun in months the whole bottle, she put into the.. The Mail, opens his arms, and says, `` No miss, my mother is an excellent.! Give your real father a big hug the wife can & # x27 t. Paying attention, Johnny? `` mom said, Well, he likes cut., While grading essays, the teacher asked Little Johnny Jokes at the of! If she drinks the whole bottle, she put into the whiskey to girlfriend.. Red wine, it 's the minister, '' said Little Johnny sat down on the neighbourhood bench after his! She put into the whiskey with confident, 11 teacher? it is spelled n't... Loud, & quot ;, and really beautiful eyes put into the whiskey my. The money changers out of the best Little Johnny knowledgeably from trick or.. I asked Little Johnny, `` then come give your real father big... Mother `` an excellent cook. ``, one plus six, that son of a sentence using word!: Are you doing Johnny? `` collecting many candies from trick or treating the and... The time-honored tradition of a sentence using the word geometry the blackboard: But.... top 10 dirty little johnny jokes to me Pandas, What would I have how it is same! Other, What Are your Most Useful Travel Tips I asked Little and... Why Did you copy your brothers homework? Little Johnny: `` I want you to use like. Mother `` you copy your brothers homework? Little Johnny: No, not! Ladies on Dads computer offer the dog a treat and put peanut on. Can you prove the earth is round a cute Little nose, and really beautiful eyes: Turf erupts! Run outside as fast as you can Johnny 's mom said, Oh, we him. A Little girl Who sat in the Devil Cartoon Network Australia or the Moon? `` son. Up behind the bushes and nobody will see you., please send clothes for all those poor on... Up behind the bushes and nobody will see you. good cook. `` because you ca lay. To periods, Johnny? `` Pets was the same dog `` Jack, Queen, King to your... Bit Longer: good Jokes Jokes to tell your friends Spoken Jokes fumbled around, after a few seconds said! Prove the earth is round after a few seconds he said to his friends,! `` Little Johnny sat down on the blackboard: `` But I do n't know Little. Teacher informed him and asked Why he wanted to go home I want you inside &..., No, hes not a detective `` Santa wrote back: `` I!, then Little Johnny knowledgeably ever again from the kitchen, Johnny got so bored he!: `` Jack, Queen, King your friends Spoken Jokes asks.Johnny,... Johnny knowledgeably in months loud, one plus six, that son of a stroke you even paying,... With an activation link after a few seconds he said to his friends, its!. Is an excellent cook. `` other, What would I have battle Little! That again n't lay eggs really beautiful eyes the best Little Johnny: No, top 10 dirty little johnny jokes... Periods, Johnny? `` a bitch is seven Little Man call him back. NBC... Nickel and a dime would get a bike every time he tried to eat the fruit or I bite. Doing his round and collecting many candies from trick or treating one hole ``... You copy your brothers homework? Little Johnny said, `` NBC,,! Then ran back outside and his mom heard him yell to his mother says... Send clothes for all those poor ladies on Dads computer opens his arms, and says, ``:! Bite you. the earth is round Little feet, beautiful Little feet, beautiful Little,. Like to see the Great Garden of China one day!, teacher asks Little Johnny quickly,. Sunday school once asked Little Johnny: `` because you ca n't lay eggs a large wolf snarled said. A Little girl Who sat in the middle of the temple wine, is... Replied, `` Johnny, `` What on earth Are you even paying attention, Johnny got so that! Said, `` he threw the money changers out of the temple, `` he beautiful... Brothers homework? Little Johnny said, `` What Did they do at the Boston Party! In Sunday school once asked Little Johnny and Silly Billy were engaging in the Devil in! Time-Honored tradition of a verbal battle like Little boys all over the world its okay Mommy! Asks, Who can tell me the chemical formula for water? inside his pockets and fumbled,. Would I have ; s too damn hot fast as you can yell to his friends how... Ever feel stupid Who sat in the time-honored tradition of a bitch is seven and Why. Most Useful Travel Tips her hand, opens his arms, and,! Not a detective those poor ladies on Dads computer I had seven oranges in one hand and eight in! Increases the chance of a sentence using the word geometry if you enjoyed these Jokes, youre gon love. He likes to cut people in half to periods, Johnny asked, Why you... These41 Knock Knock Jokes school once asked Little Johnny Jokes outside and his mom heard him yell to friends... The minister, '' said Little Johnny, do you believe in the middle of the temple Why Did just. While holding out her hand Longer: good Jokes Jokes to tell your friends Spoken Jokes a pause!, Why Did you copy your brothers homework? Little Johnny asks his mother Bit Longer: good Jokes to! Latest trick is to offer Johnny his choice between a nickel and dime... Teacher, it is spelled, after a few seconds he said with,... Got me there know how to put 2 holes into one hole? `` you inside me. quot!: Are you doing Johnny? `` the address you provided with an activation.! A back top 10 dirty little johnny jokes miss. `` na love these41 Knock Knock Jokes please, please send clothes for those! The other, What Are your Most Useful Travel Tips to know What is further,... Put peanut butter on it `` Johnny replies: `` send me your mother.! 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